Embracing Curiosity: Breaking Free from External Judgments and Reclaiming My Questions

A boss once told me that I ask too many questions.

It’s been 8-9 years since this happened (circa age 27ish), and I feel like talking it out. Until that point in my life, I considered my inquisitive nature a positive attribute. That was the first time that anyone ever told me it was a negative.

Well, not exactly.

If I think back, I remember being told as a child by my parents that I ask a lot of questions, and I was pretty aware that this trait seemed to exacerbate them at times.  As a child, I never fully understood why my curiosity was so tiring, seeing that I was a child, new to this whole “life” thing, and uh … as my elders wasn’t it your job to teach me?? 😐😑 Either way, my mother would respond to my litany of questions with huffs, puffs, and rarely an actual answer, and my dad would often say, “To make you ask questions.” This frequently left me not knowing what the hell was going on, what was expected of me, and figuring out things on my own. 🙃

To finish off the boss story …

… he then went on to put that sentiment in my performance review, and I was penalized for my curiosity.

Y’all, I was PENALIZED for my desire to learn more??!! 🤦🏾

Here’s the thing, though, here I am at age 35.5, still having that judgment of old … you ask TOO MANY questions … ring in my ears and stop me from asking about things I do not understand for fear of being labeled a “too many question asker.” 

Silly huh?

This is a quick post to say PATHOOWIE to that boss and his incorrect assessment of what I now realize is a skill. Ironically, later on (at a different job), I was lauded for “my curious nature” and desire to get the work done right. 🙄

I think I’ll be free of that chain as of right now. *lays that burden down*

Are you letting any external judgements control you, even years later?

Edited to add: It’s now 11 years later, I’m 47 years old and the mother of an 11-year-old with developmental delays. The idea that anyone could be penalized for curiosity is beyond me. I realize that those who said this to me did not understand their role as leaders included the education of those they are leading. Sad for them and for me. Now I’m free. My curiosity is a superpower that allows me to move beyond others, innovate, and problem-solve in a way I have never observed those labeling that curiosity negatively achieve. They don’t understand it, they choose stuckness, and I choose to ask more questions, understand more, and move forward. Yay for growth. 🌱

. . .

✨🍍👉🏾 𝚜𝚞𝚋𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚕!

✨🍍👉🏾 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐

✨🍍👉🏾 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚙 𝚝𝚎𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚜, 𝚎𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚜, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎

✨🍍👉🏾 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚊 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛