You Are *NOT* The Average Of The 5 People You Spend The Most Time With

The Power of Intentional Connections: Curating Your Community for Growth

We often hear it said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. However, this statement only captures part of how our social connections actually shape our lives.

Let’s explore the concept of intentionality and the importance of curating the community you surround yourself with. It’s not just about the five closest individuals; it goes beyond that.

In their book “Connected: The Surprising Power of How Our Social Connections Shape Our Lives,” researchers Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler provide compelling evidence that our social connections extend far beyond a limited circle of our “Top Five”. Their studies reveal that the impact of humans in your life reaches beyond just your five closest people, including the friends of those friends, and even further beyond those friends’ friends. This means that the people you surround yourself with have a ripple effect on your life and profoundly impact your well-being.

For instance, they found that if a friend becomes obese, your chances of gaining weight increase by 45%. Surprisingly, if your friend’s friend becomes obese, your likelihood of weight gain still rises by 20%. And you guessed it, if your friends’ friends’ friend becomes obese, you’re still on the hook for a potential 10% increase in your own thicca-than-a-skicker quotient. The same pattern applies to other factors like happiness and smoking. Essentially, the influence extends not just to your immediate circle but also to your friends’ friends.

Understanding this impact is crucial to curating the life you want by being intentional about the people you choose to surround yourself with. Rather than leaving it to chance, create a community that aligns with your values, aspirations, and desired future.

Decide Who You Want to Be, And Be Her.

Begin by clarifying who you want to be and the life you want to create. Once you have a clear vision, intentionally choose individuals who can help you move in that direction. Seek out those who embody the qualities, values, and goals you aspire to achieve. Surrounding yourself with people who inspire and motivate you will propel you toward personal growth and success. Likewise, diminishing your contact with those who drain you and negatively influence you will do the same. Stay woke, lol. 👀

A brisk PSA for the people pleasers:
Curating your community is not about judging others or dismissing people based on their values or current circumstances. It’s about prioritizing your personal growth and intentionally surrounding yourself with individuals who support your journey. Everyone is at different stages of their path, and it’s essential to respect that. Choose your tribe based on shared aspirations, energy, and a willingness to grow.

So what does that mean, Roshini? Glad you asked:
Take a moment to evaluate the five people you spend the most time with. Consider the overall community they belong to and whether it aligns with the person you want to become. If your current connections don’t support your desired future, seek out individuals who do. Look for like-minded people in your local community or explore online platforms where you can connect with individuals on similar growth and healing journeys.

Recognize that your social network extends to the friends of your friends and even further. Surround yourself with individuals who inspire and motivate you and who are growing in good soil themselves. Do not hesitate to seek a community that aligns with your values and goals.

Choose who you want to be and create the life you desire with the support of a curated and intentional community.

I hope this prompts you to reflect on your own way of curating community with intention. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below. If you’re a Black woman on a healing journey, consider joining my “Find Your Light” coaching community on Facebook.

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👉🏾 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐