Watch Who You Take Advice From

I was on Twitter and I see someone I follow post a video. The video was about married couples and since that is an area of interest of mine I clicked and watched it. It was a young lady who was not married doing a video about why married couples stop having sex.

She talked about a few psychological studies and some other interesting data-based topics. At first, I really liked her demeanor and thoroughness but as she began to flesh out why she thought married couples didn’t continue to have sex she then started adding in her two cents.

About 75% of the way through the video caught myself, and I stopped watching the video. Something made me realize that this young lady was just purporting theories. She wasn’t married and to my understanding, she had never been married (based on her words).

Watch where you get your advice from y’all.

In this case, the young lady is not married and has no information about what it’s like to be on the inside of an actual marriage. She only sees it in theory and so when she’s giving you her feedback, and her counsel, and her advice but it’s truly just supposition and guessing. Real talk being a person that’s been on the inside of marriage for over a decade what she was talking about was honestly fufu to me. LOL! Which is why I ended up turning the video off because I felt like she was leading people astray.

Consider the fruit, consider the root, and the tree.

When people are giving you advice about your relationship, especially if they are previously married, and they are now divorced, God bless them. Take their advice, but sift it through the filter of the only thing this person has shown you that they can accomplish is a divorce. You don’t have to be rude but remember if somebody is single all they are doing is telling you what they *think*. Even if somebody’s single and they have studied marriage extensively take their vantage point a little bit stronger but still know that their knowledge is book knowledge (unless they have worked with many couples like a therapist/trained professional).

Remember they have never been inside of a marriage.

If somebody’s never owned a house they don’t know what it’s like. If somebody has never had a child with special needs they don’t know what it’s like. They can give you advice and you can sift that advice through and take the wheat from the chaff (sort the valuable from the worthless.) and you can figure out what is useful and what is not.

Always check the root, always check the tree that you are picking your fruit from when you are getting advice.

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