The Right Way

 

So I had this revelation last night that was so simple yet so profound to me.

There is no right way to do things.

What you talkin’ ’bout Ini?

I got that one while I was putting away the dishes and it’s gonna revolutionize my 2011 just like my friend Jai’s “don’t explain yourself” did for 2009.

Explanation (lol): I’m a perfectionist, there I said it.  My therapist  said so earlier this year and I laughed him off. Well now I’m ready to admit that I’m that perfectionist that wants things done at a certain level and if it’s not done that way then I don’t do it at all. I also have those expectations for people around me and find myself getting frustrated with what I consider low quality efforts (yet somehow envious and in awe of them at the same time because they seem so free ).

At anyrate all that is for the birds.

I’ve been holding myself (and others) hostage with this ridiculous mentality for 34 years! What mentality? That there is 1 right way to do something. Even writing that just now it sounds dumb.   Seriously how controlling and condescending of me even (if I wasn’t intentionally doing it)! BOOOOO!

So last night while I was packing away the dishes this thought that had been congealing all year finally punctuated itself in my mind and spirit and I felt free. I don’t have to have 100% of the things lined up before I start, I can have 80% dare I say even 40% and get the hayle up out the boat and start walking on the water! AAAANNNND I don’t have to expect everything to be 100% there from others, I can give them the grace I need as well.

Whew, that thing hit me and it’s gonna revolutionize my life I know it is!

Just me thinking aloud again, thanks for listening (reading)

Edited to add: & here’s the other kicker…I am only a perfectionist in certain portions of my life and totally not others . I’ll have 10% of that sucka prepped and jump out the boat when it comes to relationships & non-work life experiences, but when it comes to my profession and believing that I have anything anyone would pay for in me THAT’S when the fear of failure comes up (coupled w/ the fear of success) and I freeze up and start trying to dot my Is and cross my Ts so that just in case I get questions I can PROVE that I’m worth it … which is really just a lack of confidence and a fear of judgment on my part.

How you like them self-introspective apples
welp