Fraternizing With The Locals • Do You Know Your Neighbors?

Do you talk to your neighbors?

I don’t.

I was on ClumpsofMascara.com and this post got me thinking about that subject, so I thought I’d pose the question to you Glam Fam.

Are your neighbors part of your day/life/anything?

My answer may shock you but I totally don’t … as in don’t even know their names (although I do know the one neighbor’s on the left dog’s name is ‘Avery’ just because when he was a puppy he stayed running in my yard and garage and one time tried to bust up into my house and I would’ve totally kept him if that wasn’t considered stealing #truestory Apparently I’m that “keep your dog off my lawn” neighbor ).

Focus.

Do you have any fun stories about your neighbors, positive or negative? Share in the comments below!

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Ok, here are my neighbor stories for your reading pleasure:

The Old Lady On The First Floor

Many moons (houses/apartments) ago, I lived in a 3rd-floor walk-up in central St. Louis with lots of sunlight and honey-brown hardwood floors. It was a well-taken-care-of older building with loads of character but not a lot of space. That didn’t matter ’cause it was just me and my plants.

I loved that apartment; I’d moved there in a hurry after almost dying in a fire in a previous apartment.  There was a little old lady that lived on the 1st floor, and since the washer and dryer were in the basement I spent ample time hiking up and down the fire escape past her back porch to wash my skivvies. She kept a small garden and would come out and chat when I was passing. I learned that she’d lived in that apartment her entire life! Apparently, it was her parent’s home when she was born and the rest is history. Amazing huh? I often wonder what happened to her.

The Last Time I Knew Who Lived Next Door

I bought my 1st house soon after the apartment above, and once again, it was big on character and small on space. It was just me and my cats at this point, so I was happy. Every house around me was double the size of my little 900+ square foot bungalow, and I think the residents nearest to me took to taking care of me since I was a single young lady living on her own. The couple next door would watch my house when I was out of town and tell me if anyone suspicious was lingering (like when I got a call about a creepy guy who turned out to be my handyman fixing something LOL). Dan and Maria: they were chainsmokers with heavy New York accents, and they both did the Atkins diet when it first became popular and shrunk down to a portion of their size #random. I also remember the owner of the quad apartments next to them (and the person who sold me the house) once mowed my lawn for me without me asking when my lawnmower was broken.

Ok, one more (and this one is not a happy memory)

The Child Molester 3 Doors Down

Yeah, you read that right.

A little over a year ago I was hurrying home to film a video with my sister-in-law and nephew when they called and mentioned that my house was “surrounded by po po”. Assuming they were jesting I carried on as is until I turned into my subdivision and noticed a police car posted right at the entrance, then another at the next cross street, and so on and so on. When I arrived at my house, my sister-in-law was waiting on the driveway, and the house 3 doors down was surrounded by police cruisers!

Uh.

I pulled into my garage, and we made the video. Fast forward, and hubby comes to me one day asking if I heard about the neighbor who had been arrested on SIX counts of statutory rape of his OWN CHILDREN OOOOO_oooooo_OOOOOO

WHAT! THE! FLIPS?!!!

I had JUST seen dude outside prior to the po po raid in some shorts and flip flops putting out the trash, and I thought “dude, it’s 2 degrees out here seriously?!”. Now he was gone, and his wife (who was from the Bahamas but I did not know that because I don’t talk to my neighbors #caribbeanneighborFAIL) had taken the children and left.

A. maz. ing.

So do you talk to your neighbors? Share your stories below!