Ennui … Meaning I’m Bored Senseless People

Call me strange, but I absolutely love going to my therapist!  He is so good at what he does (like challenging my thinking & equiping me to be victorious over it ) and I’m more than happy to share with you all in the hopes that it will help someone (and in turn continue to free me up as well … “liberty” remember?).  

During my last session he mentioned that what I was describing to him concerning what I do sounded like “ennui”.  I had no clue what he was talking about so when I got home I looked it up (meaning I Googled “onwee” and thank God it showed up LOL!). 

Ennui (pronounced ahn-nwee) is a French word meaning “a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest”. 

 Basically it means extreme boredom. 🥱

YES THAT!! 

The more I think of it the more I can say ABSOLUTELY, that is EXACTLY what I feel and have always felt.  I cannot recall a time where I was not bored with my job and even my schoolwork. 🤔  So much so that I assumed that was how it had to be … no seriously. It wasn’t until he said what he said that I started to think “Huh? You mean I can choose to do something that doesn’t make me feel like my brain is slowly dripping from my head in some kind of sick torture ritual?”.

Who knew? 🤷🏾

It may seem SHOCKING to read but yes, I have always been bored senseless with my work and prior to that with my areas of study. They have rarely been challenging to me and, come to think of it, they were not what I wanted to study/do either (I fought the input of others and the input of others won 🥺 ). I get up everyday assuming this is how it has to be.

Ennui … sweet, wonderful word Ennui … that sums the past 18 years so perfectly … that says “you are not the only person feeling this feeling Roshini” that says “you don’t have to experience me, you can choose something else” and encapsulates an entire life experience into 5 little letters I can then choose to counteract.

In-flippin-credible. 😐

. . .

Edited in 2021 (10 years later) to add:
What a fascinating thing to read this a decade later after SO. MUCH. WORK.  I work for myself, have a part time job, and have long since left the ennui of the corporate world behind (9 years ago was my last day).  This revelation was my first step toward where I am now and I’m grateful 

. . .

Edited in 2024 to add:
Yesterday, I noticed the new trailer for Inside Out 2, the movie, and I was ECSTATIC to see Ennui as one of the new emotions being introduced!! 🙆🏽‍♀️🙌🏽 Finally, us bored AF girls are getting some representation!! 😐😬🤣🤣  Inside Out is one of my favorite movies, to the point that I had someone make me custom peg dolls of Joy and Sadness, and they are sitting in front of me on my desk as I type this. Anyhoo, I thought of this post and wanted to update it. 

Another notable development is that last year, I was tested for ADHD. It turns out I do not have a clinically diagnosable version of it. However, I apparently have an above-average IQ than most of the population. The clinician took her time to explain to me that this may be where my ennui comes from, as in I’m legitimately bored. Wow huh? Who knew?  Needless to say, that was shocking, unexpected, and surprisingly freeing information to receive after this journey I’ve been on. I’m bored because I need more intellectual stimulation. Imagine that. The clinician took her time explaining her findings and why they could be influencing my low self-concept, major depressive disorder, and ennui. It has been one of the more liberating things I’ve discovered about myself. Just wow. 

Click the link ✨🔗 flow.page/glamazini 🔗✨ and choose one of the top choices to work with me as your coach.