Cloudy Day
Hey ya’ll 
I went MIA again and this time I’m writing a post BEFORE the fog lifts. As you may’ve noticed I haven’t been posting much lately, I’ve been pretty intermittent on YouTube and I’m hopeless on Twitter and Facebook *leSigh*. I’m in another funk, and like last time I thought I’d go ahead and share because it could help someone.
A lot has been happening this year, some I’ve shared and some I have not. Maybe one day I’ll tell it, but until then, I’ll say this: “Whew child, what a year!”. I looked at the date of the last post (Feb 8th) and realized that in less than a week I would be getting a life blow that would hit like a semi truck. #leLife I’m here and dealing (as you may’ve noticed by the blog posts and videos since Feb 8th LOL), but lately I’ve just been in a funk (not to be confused with in a pit … a pit is WAY worse than a funk when it comes to depression and I do my best to stay out of pits because pits are hard to get out of once you get in em).
I’ll be fine, but I could use all the prayers you can offer. I started with a new therapist this past weekend. I’m excited but also not looking forward to starting a whole new relationship with another counselor that I don’t even know if I click with or is any good #leBigSigh. I really want to start therapy again though so I figured I have to start somewhere. Otherwise, when time allows, I’m still working on things for you guys. I finished reading 10 Easy Steps To Go Natural Without Cutting Your Hair Off!
As I always say (because it’s the truth) it is well.
Just writing this post made me feel a bit better :).
Have a great day ya’ll *hugs*
Roshini Cope
Roshini Cope, aka Glamazini, is a life coach and video creator who gained a following for her natural hair tutorials, which evolved into authentic personal stories of healing with a consistent dash of humor. She is a black woman healing helping other black women heal, expand their self-awareness, reclaim their joy, and create the life they want. Work with Roshini 🤎✨🤎
44 Comments
Southern Girl
Been there, somewhat still there, hope the therapist is a good fit, I know what a struggle that can be when you are trying to get better.
glamazini
Thank you. I hope she’s a good fit too. Lord knows if I could afford him I’d be back at my previous counselor in a flash, but aw the joys of insurance changes #leBoo.
Steph
We love you Roshini! Kick those blues in the butt. I’m praying for you! I’ve battled depression for nearly 10 years and have overcome it through prayer and deliverance. I know the funk and the pit all too well. But God is. He has a plan for your life and whatever you face in never too big for God. Just surrender it all to Him. Much Love!
glamazini
Thank you for the prayers. I really appreciate it.
Latoya
This too shall pass Roshini. God is right there with you and will take you through the storm! Sending a great big hug your way!
glamazini
You always make me smile when you post :). Thanks for the kind words hun.
BigTickles
I am continuing to pray for you. I started when I noticed it was a while since we heard anything from you. Yesterday, my Pastor said “look to your left, look to your right, you do not know what that person is going through or coming out of but HE is more than enough to carry you through”. Take a listen to Israel & New Breed “Overflow”; it may lift your spirits. *hugs*
glamazini
Thank you for your prayers. Sometimes I just have to take a breather, but I always try to keep ya’ll in the loop. I’ve definitely been listening to some music lately when I can. It always helps.
Allison
All things work out for your greater good….believe it!!! Live each day in that day without trying to figure things out before you even have too. Know that your ancestors are at your side. Never forget how powerful you are sis.
glamazini
Thanks Allison.
louisa
I will be praying for you, i know that life can be hard, but just know that God has your back, and he will never leave you, just look and count your blessing and see what the Lord has done, and what he is going to do for you.
glamazini
Thanks Louisa.
elizabeth
marijuana
glamazini
uh ???
Doreen
Hey Girl
You sound absolutely exhausted and I’m not surprised, you’ve just had a baby on top of everything else. You are doing far better than you think you are.
Don’t make too many plans. Just relax.Take a deep breath. Allow the holy spirit to lead you. Take his hand.He is waiting to guide and counsel you. Breath out.
Of course I will pray for you, that you will come out of this darkness. I will also pray for hubby and the Bambino of course!
Take care and lots of blessings be!
glamazini
Thanks Doreen
Kesha
My prayers are with you Ini. God is always able and He will see you through. Stay strong sis!
HoneyB…
glamazini
Thank you
ElleBelle
I was wondering where you were. I will keep you in my prayers. Depression is a struggle that we have to learn to manage. You are much stronger than it.
glamazini
Thanks
Jc
Some people are jokers – i.e elizabeth with her marijuana suggestion. Depression is a real illness and marijuana can actually hide or hinder recovery. People with mood disorders are better off not using that particular drug.
I am wondering if you have had cognitive behavioural therapy. My sister has really benefited a lot from it. She is actually bipolar but tends to have more depression. The lessons she learned through her cognitive behavioural therapy helped her greatly manage her anxiety which usually triggered the depression.
glamazini
I don’t know if my therapy has been “cognitive behavioral”.
TyaD
Roshini,
I so appreciate your authenticity when it comes to your feelings. We all have ups & downs, come worse than others and some even go thru different types of depression. This is a serious issue that many people refuse to share but I’m glad that you have the courage to do so. I always get worried when I haven’t seen your posts. With so many people in this world who are not genuine and try to put on airs, it is so refreshing to read the postings of a ‘real’ person who is not afraid to show their human side. It gives me courage to say what I’m feeling to my close friends and insight to actually check on family/friends and truly LISTEN to how they are feeling. This world is stressful. It’s okay to express it. May you weather your storm with courage, prayers and strength that is not your own. I’m glad you have such a supportive network of family/friends.
By the way, I went to St. Thomas in June and it was FABULOUS!!!! Walked from the pier all the way downtown and back – what a beaustiful site to see. Cannot wait to go back.
Can’t wait to see what’s next for you…
glamazini
Thank you 🙂 … you walked from Havensight to downtown and back! *faint*
TyaD
LOVED IT – It was a beautiful day and just gorgeous view! Where can I send you some pics (as if you haven’t seen it before)? We docked where there was a Hooters and some shopping and then walked downtown b/c the bartender told us that was a better place to shop. I’m in love with USVI and PR from now on! 🙂
glamazini
LOL … you can email me pictures at glamazini at yahoo dot com if you’d like. 🙂
Linda
Oh I have had those days before….in the dumps and way down in the pit days but a little prayer goes a long way. Hope ya feel better soon.
glamazini
Thank you Linda
elizabeth
j.c., there was not one joke in my comment. after two miscarriages, a failed marriage, over a decade of bulimia, the diagnosis of a potentially fatal medical condition, and a childhood history of sexual abuse–in addition to having been an undergraduate biology major, i am fully aware of depression and the ways in which it can cause us to act out–destructively and otherwise. after numerous therapies and opting out of prescription antidepressants, i found that a regimen of marijuana and yoga have greatly increased my ability to manage the stressors in my life. now, if i would have remembered the fact that roshini was actively nursing, i never would have suggested it, but don’t discount a person as a joker because you don’t agree with a method of healing, which has happened to greatly benefit me. disagreeing with what you do not understood or have no knowledge is the basis of all prejudice.
glamazini
Really? Weed and yoga? I’ve never smoked weed so I can’t comment but I was like “huh?” when you commented the 1st time. Speaking of yoga, I used to do it (both hartha and bikram) but lately I’m interested in pilates and probably need to get back into doing it again for the health/strength benefits. Also I’m sorry life hasn’t always treated you kindly … but I hope your latter days get better and better. Thanks for commenting.
Jc
I happen to have a vested interest in mental health (having 3 relatives diagnosed with either bipolar disorder or depression – one of whom committed suicide). The second part is that I am a scientist and I have taken it upon myself to read up on mental health and current therapies that are supported by medical evidence.
Current research indicates that marijuana can actually cause depression or worsen symptoms in vulnerable people (i.e those with a known existing mental health issue). It is also further complicated by the fact that marijuana strength varies from plant to plant and is therefore difficult to control dose wise.
I do support drug treatment for mental health disorders but I am not going to support something that has no evidenciary basis to it. Furthermore, I would not support something that is known to hinder or harm.
It is fair enough that you discuss your experience but in all fairness your first response was simply ‘marijuana’ which frankly was not enlightening.
Roshini – Can I please ask you to look into cognitive behavioural therapy. It is not talking therapy in a one on one session. It is usually an intensive group course over about 1-2 months where the psychiatrist discusses with the group about coping skills, managing anxiety, identifying triggers and stressors both in situations and by people, thought patterns which are logical and illogical etc. The idea is that you leave the session with a better insight into what you can do to manage your mood. Cognitive behavioural therapy needs to be practised in real life and that challenge after going through the course is up to the learner.
glamazini
Will look into it, thanks 🙂
elizabeth
please don’t apologize for my life, roshini. i have also had all the joy my hands can hold. i know it is all part of the ebb and flow of life. i just had to learn the futility of dwelling in the past as well as reognize how that past informed my choices and change them. honestly, marijuana helped me not to sweat the small things that could get in the way of the healing process. in addition, i am more spiritual than religious, and the difficult yoga poses helped me recognize tough spots don’t last, and i can get through them as long as i hold on and breathe!
glamazini
Didn’t mean to “apologize for your life”. Ironically I hate when people do that too so I know what you mean. Just not sure how to offer my heart in the situation so that’s what I said :). Anyhoo, I’m not gonna do the marijuana thing, but your post is seriously enlightening. thanks for sharing and sparking a discussion ’cause I’ve definitely learned something.
elizabeth
j.c., as a scientist, you would know that it isn’t true that there is no evidence to support the mood boosting and revelatory benefits of marijuana as well as recognize the spuriousness of scientific research in itself with upwards of 60% of experiments not reproduceable outside of the original conditions. i am not suggesting that she smoke, but antidepressants are dangerous chemicals, and all don’t respond to counseling treatments the same. i am simply stating what helped me.
Jc
I will clarify that I actually support research into THC(the active drug in marijuana) and marijuana for other medical conditions e.g glaucoma. I emphasise that I support studies where dose can be controlled via chemical extraction and purification or lab synthesised THC so that smoking the drug is not necessary as that in itself has dangers.
I do argue against the use of marijuana for people with mental health conditions as its use is linked with triggering the condition or worsening of symptoms. Marijuana is not a mood boosting drug, it is actually a potent antidepressant. This is the reason why people with depression may find it an attractive option as it appears to relieve symptoms. The problem though is that it is impossible to control the dosage which varies from plant to plant and there is no way of knowing whether you have taken too much or too little and often users tend to end up taking too much.
So, current scientific evidence and practice is against the use of marijuana for treatment of psychiatric conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia etc. This may change in future with added research into controlling dosage and drug combinations.
As a scientist, reproducibility is what changes a theory to a fact. Yes reproducibility is always related to conditions. For example, drugs are usually tested on average weight Caucasian males. Why is this? Women are eliminated as we have different hormonal cycles which may interfere with the drug. Caucasian males are generally used as drugs are often tested in Europe and USA where they are in greater numbers. This also allows for some genetic similarity between the candidates so that the drug is metabolised (broken down and used in the body) in approximately the same way. Weight also comes into play here for the same reason. There is a reason for having these conditions as part of the experiment. While variability is expected if you expand the pool, it is not expected if you test a similar group of candidates. This is the whole basis of fact finding in science.
I definitely think your story Elizabeth is worth sharing. I know first hand how some doctors can be very irresponsible because they just write out prescriptions and do not look out for symptoms worsening or for side effects of the drugs. I also know that the side effects of some psychiatric medication is more than what people can tolerate. I also know that not everyone can respond to talking therapy. I do really wish to say that cognitive behavioural therapy is not counselling or talking therapy. It is a skills lesson and is very different from sitting down and talking to a therapist.
Ok that is it from me, I appreciate this conversation Elizabeth because I had been slacking on my reading since June, and this prompted me to update myself on new studies between July and September.
glamazini
Ya’ll are in here dropping knowledge respectfully and I’m totally learning something! Thanks 🙂
elizabeth
be blessed, roshini. the world needs you!
glamazini
🙂
Sue
I learned so much from the comments. Thanks for sharing Roshini, hope things get better. Sending positive vibes your way and praying for you.
glamazini
Me too Sue! Thank you 🙂
Manuel M. Mendez, D.C.
Just came upon your blog and was really curious as to how you are doing. Hope things have begun to look up for you, if not, I have noticed that exercise (even minimal) has a tendency to help with the blas of daily living. Your body releases endorphines that will make you feel better. Best of luck.
Suggie
Although we talked. I just prayed for you again. Amen. Love ya sis.
glamazini
thank you 🙂