5 Ways To Recover From A Bad Day As A Mom
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Yesterday was a bad day.
It was just one of those days where I was heavy with the constant low-level grief that is being mom to a child with special needs. That feeling of loss is ever-present, and most days I’m able to refocus my thoughts quickly and get back on track, but yesterday just wasn’t one of those days.
By the end of the day, I was “hiding” in my bedroom while hubby kept an eye on our son and made dinner. The man stepped up.
While in said bedroom, I jumped on Periscope because why not? I felt like brain dumping, I felt like sharing-my-craptasitcal-pity-party-why-me-Lord kinda day. I felt like having a conversation with someone that wasn’t a 3-year old. Follow me at Periscope.tv/Glamazini to participate in my scopes LIVE!
Here I am last night hiding:
“Today Was A Bad Day. #SpecialNeeds #Mom”
While on that scope I thought of several ways to recover from the day’s slump so that tomorrow (today) would (will) be better!
1. Take Some Time Away
I am my son’s primary caretaker 99% of the time. I get him up and ready in the mornings, take him to and pick him up from school, run errands with him, take him to doctors appointments, care for him during the day and put him to bed. All of this with a 40-lb child who does not walk and a 20-lb wheelchair. My husband is the primary breadwinner so he helps, but can only do so much because time does not permit. Typically Saturday mornings are my time off. I sleep in, hubby gets our son up, I saunter down the stairs whenever I feel like it. Talk about heaven. *swoon* But the past few weeks we’ve had plans or been traveling on Saturday so it’s pretty much been my same ole weekday routine 7 days a week solid for a couple months.
Mama needed a break.
While feeding my son yesterday (he does not self-feed yet), my husband caught me weeping into the Gerber Graduates and agreed to take Zion for the rest of the night. This was just what I needed to decompress! I watched some scopes I’d missed, read for a bit, jumped on Periscope (video above), and by the end, it was time to put my son to bed (hubby had given him a bath and got him ready, all I had to do was show up, pray, and tuck him in), and head downstairs to eat dinner (also prepared by hubby #therealMVP #halleluu #andIthankyuh).
2. Talk to Adults
Listen, we all love our kids but adults need adult conversation every once in a while. My son actually has speech delays (but he’s improving thank God!), so this exacerbates the reality of rarely speaking in full complex sentences for many of my waking hours. I decided to jump on Periscope, but not after I caught up with an old friend on the phone. Now granted, I’m a social-people-person, recharged by contact with others (yet cherishes alone time lol) so this was right up my alley. If this is not for you and human contact is draining, try watching a video or turning on the television and hearing adults talk in full sentences. It is nothing short of rejuvenating for the mind.
3. Make a List of Things That Make You Happy
If you watch the video, you’ll see that I made a list of things that I know make me happy. They were specifically all things I could do today just in case the heaviness tried to return. For example, I could go get frozen yogurt because … well … frozen yogurt (have you had it? it’s delicious). I could dance around my house blasting music (not mentioned in video but super valid). I could wear a cute outfit (which I am and did intentionally because glamazini). And so on and so on. You can do this too so you have tools to fight so the heaviness doesn’t take hold. Matter-o-fact, check out my list of 100 Things That Make Me Happy for inspiration, and don’t forget to make your own so you have it on hand for the future.
4. Count Your Blessings
So very cliché but so very true. When you intentionally change your focus to what you already have it’s inevitable that you begin to feel lifted. Heaviness leaves. In the video I recalled what I had to be grateful for, things like the California king 4-poster bed I was sitting on with a fancy mattress and uber high thread count sheets (hubby’s doing, the man likes nice things). Things like a son who is able to maneuver his own wheelchair and speak to me and swallow and has the best laugh. There are mothers that would trade places with me in a heartbeat. There are women longing to *be* mothers. I have legs that work. Long sexy legs (lol #mamasstillgotit #glamazini). I have a brilliant mind and an encouraging story and spirit. I am surrounded by good things and favor. I have the ability to turn lemons into lemonade. Once you start you really can’t stop AND you immediately start to feel better. Try it!
5. Grab a Meaningful Momento
I keep things that mean something to me. Kind emails that are sent are kept in a folder called ‘Love’. Beautiful messages and comments left by you guys are printed out and put into a book that I reference when skies are gray. Cards, gifts and knick-knacks are all kept in plain view or in my momento book to encourage me to run on and remind me of my impact. Yesterday when I ran upstairs to hide in the bedroom I grabbed a flower given to me by my niece a few weeks ago that I kept, pressed between the pages of a book and now sits in a picture frame next to my bed (because Jianna loves Auntie Roshini). If you’re like me these small reminders of the light in the darkness do so much for your spirit. Next time you feel down read an old letter, look at pictures of a happy time, listen to music from your childhood, wear the bracelet your niece made for you. You will feel better.
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If you’re wondering, I’m feeling great today! I ran over to Starbucks and got a free coffee, I’m dressed in a cute outfit, got a pedicure yesterday (in between the tears, no need to be sad AND busted #glamazini), and did all the things I listed above. I have a pretty full Friday ahead (what’s new), the weather is perfect and it’s gearing up to be an amazing day. Hope you have one as well! *mwah*
What do you do to recover from your bad mommy days?
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Watch My Update: Today Was A Good 😉 Day. #SpecialNeeds #Mom
Roshini Cope
Roshini Cope, aka Glamazini, is a life coach and video creator who gained a following for her natural hair tutorials, which evolved into authentic personal stories of healing with a consistent dash of humor. She is a black woman healing helping other black women heal, expand their self-awareness, reclaim their joy, and create the life they want. Work with Roshini 🤎✨🤎
3 Comments
Tora
You are simply amazing. God only gives us what we are able to handle, so He obviously thinks a lot of you. While my son doesn’t have special needs, your story encourages me to be grateful as a mom and stronger as a woman! If you can do it, given your challenges, I can do it too. May God continue to bless and keep your family and work miracles in your life. The work you do, your strength and your resiliency don’t go unnoticed. Uplifting God’s people and being obedient are never in vain. Wonderful you are!
glamazini
Thank you so much for the kind words, they mean a lot. Blessings!
BigTickles
This was a timely day for me to catch up on your posts. My son had a MASSIVE metldown at baseball practice last night. It mad my husband cry for him. We actually mourned for the night. It was very reflective. I tried to snap myself out of it because it could’ve been worse; he could have them all the time. We have come so far in therapy but I get you. I am with him 99% of the time too because of homeschooling. On the weekends, I just stay in my bed and watch the Hallmark, Food Network and Cooking Channels. On Sundays I usually get it together with church and getting food prepped for the week.