10 Myths That Are Keeping You From Living

Let’s dive into a topic that will hopefully change your life!

Have you felt like you were waiting for something to happen before you could START your life? You’re not alone. As a coach who primarily works with Gen X black women, I’ve noticed a common underlying thought – the feeling that life is on pause until something magical occurs. Personally, I’ve had that thought as well. I even remember being in my 20s and 30s and thinking “Maybe when XYZ happens, then I can ABC.” Wow huh?

Today, we’ll explore this feeling and debunk myths holding you back.

Myth: The Myth of Accountability

One myth we tell ourselves is that we are not responsible for our own lives. We blame our past, family, circumstances, or other people for how our lives have turned out. We become a victim of every situation who is powerless to change our circumstances and this stance can easily become anger and deep bitterness. Bitterness keeps you externalized and stagnant. We believe that someone else needs to change something and then we can we can move forward. If they don’t change we blame them and feel justified in remaining stuck.

But here’s the truth: no one is coming to save you. You are responsible and capable of creating the life you want, starting with being intentional about curating your thoughts which become your feelings which become your choices which become your actions.

Myth: Life Just Happens

Some people approach life as a passive observers and not intentional creators. This mindset leads to feeling powerless and stuck. The reality is that you have the power to shape your life at every point, which may be news to you because let me tell you, it was news to me! Embrace a growth mindset changed my life and truly understanding that I can change every circumstance and/change how I respond to it which thereby changes my experience of it, made me feel more powerful to affect my world ask new questions, and avail myself to opportunities I would have previously overlooked.

Myth: Waiting for the Perfect Moment

Many of us delay living because we’re waiting for the perfect moment. We tell ourselves that we’ll start living when we find the perfect partner, have the ideal job, achieve a certain level of success, or resolve all our problems. But life is never perfect, and waiting for the right moment means you’ll spend your entire life on the sidelines. Do not let life pass you by because the thing you’re waiting to subside is you life hun. You heard me, that is a part of your full and complex life. You are alive right now, so live.

Myth: Belief in Fate

Some people believe their fate is already written and they have no control over it. This fatalistic thinking can be paralyzing, preventing you from taking action to improve your life. Remember, you can shape your destiny through your choices and actions. Dr. Caroline Leaf is a neuroscientist who studies the mind and her resources are a powerful place to start retraining your brain to the possibilities you have to create instead of being a victim of fate.

Myth: Fear of Failure

Fear of failure is a common myth that holds many of us back. We worry that it will be a catastrophe if we try and fail. However, failure is a natural part of life, and it’s how we learn and grow. If you never fail at anything, you’ve never tried anything. The irony a life of never trying anything ultimately is the biggest failure of them all. At least if you try, you have a 50% chance of success. If you don’t you have a 100% chance of no change occurring. Embrace failure as a teacher rather than a deterrent.

Myth: Comparing Yourself to Others

Constantly comparing yourself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and prevent you from living your life to the fullest. Everyone’s journey is unique, and your path may not look like anyone else’s. Thing of participants in a race. If you spend the entire race staring at your opponent in the other lane you are guaranteed not to win. Look forward and run hard in the direction you want to go. Focus on your own progress and growth. Make the former you who you compare yourself to.

Myth: Perfectionism

Done is better than perfect. Perfectionism is a lie many tell themselves is a positive attribute. There is literally no such thing as perfect so living a life of perfectionism just gives you a reason to stall from acting and creation. Yes, it is wise to prepare beforehand AND the doers are the ones out on the field learning as they go. You will never learn anything, adjust, iterate, and try again if you wait for things to be perfect before you start your life. Once again, done is better than perfect.

Myth: Waiting for Validation

Seeking validation from others can keep you stuck. Waiting for others to approve of your choices or validate your worth can be a never-ending cycle. Others’ opinions don’t determine your worth. Not only that, humans are fallible and dumber than we expect ourselves to be (lol, but true). For the love of God, the person you’re waiting on validation from can’t validate their own life and figure out what going on and they sure are able to tell you what is worthy. Plus, it’s your life not there’s. Lastly, learning that your life is unique and living for yourself, and not for the approval of others is the most freeing thing that happens as you mature. Don’t wait on them, go.

Myth: Procrastination

Procrastination is the enemy of progress and “success stealing”. We can put off taking action because we’re waiting for the motivation to strike or feel doing the task will be painful and want to alleviate that perceived pain upfront. The issue with that mindset is all we’re doing is delaying and prolonging the “pain,” and usually we’ve exaggerated how horrible the task will be and just doing it is the easiest response. Prioritizing small choices each day in the direction you have chosen will help you create the life you want.

Myth: Overthinking

Overthinking can lead to analysis paralysis, where you’re stuck in a cycle of overanalyzing every decision. Trust your instincts and make choices confidently. The result of every decision made and action taken is not fatal. You have the ability to adjust, learn, iterate, and choose again.

Have you been waiting for your life to start?

It’s time to break free from these myths holding you back from living your best life. Embrace responsibility, intentionality, and the power to shape your destiny. You can create the life you want. Life is happening right now, and it’s up to you to make the most of it. So, go out there and live your life to the fullest.

If this resonates with you, share your thoughts in the comments. You can also connect with me on social media and my healing-focused Facebook group for black women “Find Your Light” on Facebook. And as always, you are enough. Be well, be encouraged. my “Find Your Light” coaching community on Facebook

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✨🍍👇🏾 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚘

Zion in middle school

Alecia Renece’s Channel

Tabitha’s episode about accountability

Father’s Day: A Kirk Franklin Story

Dr. Caroline Leaf

Shadow Work Journals

Four Stages of Competence

I go over these four stages in my ebook Getting Unstuck

Stephanie Perry’s Channel

Her story of making motherhood a priority